your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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