the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize