Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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