As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
