I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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