we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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