nut hugger
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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