The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
