worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
