You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize