My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
