I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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