I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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