So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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