i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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