Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Randomize
