So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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