google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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