What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
