i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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