does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
