Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
