My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
