And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
