Porn is love you can see.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
