Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
