ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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