Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize