ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
