have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I can't put those talents on a resume
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
