i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize