we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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