i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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