You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
