did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
