His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
