And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
