I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
