Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
