The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
