I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
