I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
