I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Randomize
