just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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