and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
