I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
