No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
