Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
