You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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