He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
The beer is more important than you right now.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize