highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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