Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
