you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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