i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize