Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
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