she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I just found a bag of teeth...
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize