my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
