I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
