Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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