If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Randomize
