is your mom at the bar?
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
