Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
