What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
