weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
