Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I supernannyed him into submission
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
