At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
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