its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
