he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
