just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
