It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
