I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize