So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
