If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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