i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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