Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
