shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
