Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
