I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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