You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
