how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
sex in a hospital.. check
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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